FOOTNOTES ARE THE NEW TITLES
BY MATT BETTS

Last year,
Blue was the new Red
Forty was the new Thirty
Pork was the new Chicken

This year,
Plastic is the new Paper
Amused is the new Ecstatic

Up is the new Down
Yes is the new No

Money is the new Time
Gaseous is the new Solid

Soon¹,
Boy will be the new Man
Tomorrow will be the new Today
We will be the new They

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     ¹Please mark your calendar